????“你不会理所应当地获得你应该得到的，你只能获得你从谈判中争取到的。”

????——谈判专家莱斯特?嘉洛斯

????你有多少次听到有人这样抱怨团队里的另一个成员：

????? “我只是提了一个很简单的要求……他们就是无法交付我需要的东西。”

????? “每次我要什么东西，他们就说‘好的’，但是我还是不能在需要的时候得到需要的东西。”

????? “他们压根就没在听……他们总是能弄出差错……他们会什么？”

????或许，亲爱的读者，当一名团队成员的表现没有达到你的预期时，你自己也曾说过类似的话吧？

????如果你很诚恳，你可能会承认，你经常会听到这些话……有时甚至是你自己的表现没有达到标准，最后你感觉自己像个无助的受害者，是吧？

????那么，这种事情为什么会发生呢？是因为人们太笨、太懒、太无能吗？（如果是的话，我真怀疑他们一开始为什么会被录用！）根据我的经验，在99%的案例中，答案都是否定的。真正的问题是，无论提出要求的人也好，接受要求的人也罢，他们都不擅长有效地提出和接受别人的要求。因此这不是态度的问题，问题是你有没有技巧和意愿，去花时间做真正有效果的事。

????如果你想一劳永逸地解决这个问题，你就要在每次向别人提出要求时，在谈判过程中应用以下的“SMART”准则。你没听错，我用的是“谈判”这个词。每次提要求都是一次谈判，你要利用SMART准则，确保在第一时间成功地提出要求。如果你忘了“SMART”是什么意思，不妨在这里重温一下：

????SMART准则

????? 具体

????? 可衡量

????? 可执行

????? 现实性

????? 时效性

????1. 尽量具体（Specific）：确保你提出的要求明确细致地表达了你的期望。模糊不清是不能被接受的。如果你听不明白别人提出的要求，就要继续发问，一直到你彻底明白对方需要什么。在你向别人提要求的时候，要尽量明晰，直白地表达出你到底需要什么。你可以花十分钟把你需要的东西白纸黑字地写下来，这十分钟会给你后来的工作省去很多麻烦。

????“You never get what you deserve; you only get what you negotiate.”

????Lester Karrass, Negotiation Expert

????How many times have you heard someone complaining about another team member saying things like this:

????? “I made such a simple request…and they couldn’t deliver what I needed.”

????? “Every time I ask for something, they say ‘yes’ but I still don’t get what I need, when I need it.”

????? “They just don’t seem to listen…there is always something they get wrong…don’t they know anything?”

????Or, perhaps, dear reader, you have found yourself saying something like the above when a team member’s performance is not what you expected?

????If you are honest, you can admit hearing things like this happen all the time…and sometimes it is your own performance that did not meet the standard and you end up feeling like a victim, yes?

????Why does this happen?Is it because people are stupid, lazy or incompetent. (If so I wonder how they got hired in the first place!) In 99% of cases, in my experience, the answer is “No.” The real problem is that both the person making the request and the person accepting it, are unskillful in making and accepting effective requests. It is not about ‘attitude’ it is about skill, and willingness to take the time to do what actually works.

????If you want to solve this problem forever, it is time to start applying the SMART standard each and every time a request is negotiated. That’s right: negotiated. Each request is a negotiation, using SMART standards, to ensure that it will be carried out successfully the first time. If you have forgotten what “SMART” stands for, here it is again:

????THE SMART STANDARD

????? SPECIFIC

????? MEASURABLE

????? ACTIONABLE

????? REALISTIC

????? TIME-BASED

????1. Be Specific:Make sure your request is completely explicit and clear about exactly what is expected. Vagueness cannot be accepted. If a request is not clear to you, keep pushing until you know, specifically, what is wanted. When you are making the request, be CLEAR and say exactly what you want. Spell it out in black and white. You might spend 10 minutes writing down exactly what you want. That 10-minute investment may save you a lot of trouble later on.